I am so much more sensitive and emotional than ever before. I wonder what’s going on. Am I becoming a woman who feels and follows feelings? But I’m a guy, I’m a Taurus. Maybe it’s because I’m having some dreaded prostate issues. I was heartened, however, by a passage in a book titled “The Invasion of the Prostate Snatchers,” by my now deceased great friend, Ralph Blum of Runes fame, in which he writes: “If you’re over 70 and don’t have some prostate cancer, you’re probably a woman.” Right on Ralph! Yes, I am man, a real man!
Nevertheless, my doctor prescribed some tiny little pills that are testosterone blockers. Testosterone is a driving force for prostate problems. Since taking these, I have cried, I have screamed, I have gotten supremely pissed of, deeply loving, very anxious (and not just because of Trump’s gross ignorance and delusional, duplicitous ego). Every feeling has become magnified.
As an optimist and opportunist because I follow the wisdom of the “Fortune Maker” archetype in Voyager, I am finding this a wondrous journey into the emotions associated with the feminine. I see now why women are the feelers and empaths, the tarot readers and therapists. Maybe women’s intuition is a physical product of the female brain mixed with estrogen? Read “The Female Brain” by Louann Brizendine for more understanding about this.
On the other hand, perhaps my growing emotionality has nothing to do with hormones and is just a result of my calamitous situation of being wanless, car-less, and almost moneyless and homeless. Remember one of the greatest “rules of life” – “Everything is connected to everything.” Is it any wonder that as I lose my man-force, I am losing just about everything else?
Parenthetically, in my “U.S. Presidential campaign of 1992″ running on the platform of Tarot for All, Archetypes as Advisors, and April Fools Day as National Holiday, I stated “Wan(t) Less, Get More!” So now I’m feeling that pledge. And btw, instead of “Tarot,” we got candidate “Perot.” It was close, too close.
But let’s not forget this “rule of life” – “Everything, every moment, every event, every person no matter how smarmy, every every” is all energy!” – thus, supremely useful as a resource for the most imperative skill of the 21st century – to be “renew-able.” As I say about doing the Cards, “less is more.” Everything we own, owns us. So, “losing it all is actually gaining more” – more lightness, freedom, autonomy, purpose, and more mobility for renewal and regeneration.
Life is a learning process and so my new adventure is all about personal growth and evolution. I once remember taking some psilocybin (a mushroom psychedelic compound) back in the day and had 24 hours of total paranoia, and can now absolutely understand the trauma and insanity of those having such mental issues. It was terrifying and terrific! As they say, “if it doesn’t kill you, it makes you stronger” and certainly more aware.
My own spiritual path of “ever-renewing aliveness” is being tested now. Taking my own mind-medicine, I turn my worry into presence and preparation and my anger into passion and purpose. I do the “Magician’s magic manifestation” ritual: I see myself in gold light being completely healthy and more expansively integrated and whole. I recall my motivation for wanting to live and really live, fully alive!. I believe in myself and affirm that I can and am revitalizing and resurrecting myself. I am “doing the do,” like going out to get a small, light affordable car. Doing so, I expect all good things to happen. As a result, I am already feeling more alive now with even more gusto – the aliveness of a turned on mind, pumping heart, robust body, and inspired spirit. And of course, I am becoming more integrated by uniting my yin and yang. Maybe it’s a “sign” that for the first time ever I saw a sign on a bathroom door recently that said “gender neutral.” How about being “gender whole” – healed, healthy, and happy.
I love you prostate. You have awakened me. I am grateful and not dead! For some of you who might get this…Where’s Jerry? There’s “fire on the mountain!” Cockadoodledo! Get my “Exceptional Rooster Cards and Story” and get fired up! www.james-wanless.com